From Networks to Orbits: Building Dynamic and Purposeful Relationships

Two and a half years ago, I retired after nearly 40 years of working, stepping into a chapter of life I once viewed as a great unknown. Like many, I grappled with what retirement would mean—would it be a time of slowing down, or could it be something more fulfilling? This question drove me to write an article titled “Redefining Retirement,” arguing that retirement isn’t about stopping; it’s about being Actively Fulfilled—intentionally pursuing purpose, relationships, and growth in a new, meaningful way.

As I began this new phase, I leaned heavily on my professional network for connection and inspiration. But I quickly realized something profound: the people I’d worked with for decades were still racing down their own professional interstates—focused, determined, and relentless in their pursuit of goals. While I admired their drive, I noticed something else. Their paths left little room for exploration, reflection, or meaningful exchange. Conversations were quick, often transactional, and rarely allowed for the deeper connection I sought. It wasn’t that they were uninterested or unavailable—they were simply on a different journey, one where time and focus were dedicated to a different orbit of priorities.

This realization opened me to the concept of Orbits: a way of understanding relationships not as static connections but as dynamic, ever-changing spheres of influence, energy, and alignment. Unlike a network, which often emphasizes breadth and transactions, orbits reflect depth, balance, and the evolving nature of human connection. Over time, I began to map my relationships in this new framework, discovering how orbits could provide clarity and fulfillment in ways a traditional network never could.

In this essay, I’ll explore the concept of orbits—how they differ from networks, why they matter, and how they can help us cultivate intentional, energizing, and deeply aligned relationships with our personal and professional ambitions. I hope that by the end, you’ll see your relationships through a new lens that fosters growth, balance, and a deeper sense of connection.

Breaking Free from the Network Mindset: The Power of Orbits

When I first retired, my relationships were still firmly rooted in the traditional framework of networks. For decades, I’ve relied on my professional network for opportunities, advice, and collaboration. It was efficient, accessible, and focused—precisely what I needed during my career. But as I entered a new phase of life, this structure felt inadequate. Networks seemed to prioritize breadth over depth, leaving little room for the kind of intentional, energizing connections I now sought. That’s when I started to explore a new framework: orbits.

At their core, networks and orbits describe how we relate to others, but they serve fundamentally different purposes. Networks focus on transactional utility—who you know, what they can offer, and when they’re available. On the other hand, Orbits reflect a dynamic and evolving ecosystem of relationships. They are less about who you know and more about how those relationships align with your energy, values, and ambitions.

This distinction opened my eyes to the limitations of networks and the richness of orbits. Let me explain how these two frameworks differ and why orbits offer a more intuitive and fulfilling approach to relationships.

The Traditional Network

A network is like a vast web of connections. It’s built to be broad and scalable, designed to help you navigate opportunities, access information, or exchange resources. Think of LinkedIn: you connect with hundreds, sometimes thousands, of people, but most of those connections are passive. They sit there, largely untouched, until a specific need arises.

Networks are valuable, but they tend to be static. Once a connection is made, it often remains unchanged unless actively nurtured. Network interactions are usually transactional, centered on a task, goal, or exchange. While this structure works well for achieving specific objectives, it rarely fosters the deeper, more personal connections that enrich our lives.

The Orbit

Orbits, by contrast, are relational and dynamic. Imagine a series of concentric circles around you. At the center is your Inner Orbit—the people who profoundly influence your life through emotional support, mentorship, or shared ambitions. Beyond that is the Middle Orbit, filled with collaborators and friends who inspire and challenge you. The Outer Orbit houses acquaintances, distant connections, or individuals who inspire you from afar.

Unlike networks, orbits recognize that relationships are fluid. People move between orbits as your needs, ambitions, and circumstances change. Someone who was once in your Inner Orbit—a close mentor or best friend—might transition outward due to life changes. Similarly, a distant acquaintance in your Outer Orbit might unexpectedly move inward after collaborating on a meaningful project.

A Shift in Focus

Here’s a comparison between networks and orbits to illustrate these differences more clearly. Rather than presenting it as a static table, let’s explore these concepts narratively.

Purpose: Networks prioritize scale and accessibility, helping you achieve tasks or gain visibility. Orbits, however, are about alignment—ensuring your relationships bring energy and balance to your life.

For example, in my professional network, I had hundreds of connections I rarely spoke to. By shifting to an orbit mindset, I focused on those who energized and inspired me.

Structure: Networks are hierarchical and static, and relationships stay the same unless intentionally altered. Orbits, on the other hand, are flexible and organic, reflecting the evolving nature of human connection.

A former colleague who drifted into my Outer Orbit years ago recently moved inward after we collaborated on a project related to our shared passion. That kind of movement doesn’t happen in a traditional network.

Engagement: Networks focus on transactions—exchanging resources or information when needed. Orbits emphasize relationships—investing time and energy into connections that align with your ambitions.

One of my closest mentors became part of my Inner Orbit not because of their professional advice but because of the emotional and intellectual alignment we cultivated over time.

Outcome: Networks provide access, but orbits create growth. A network connection might help you land a job while someone in your Inner Orbit inspires and supports you through life’s challenges.

In retirement, I realized that access to opportunities mattered less than growth in meaningful, mutual relationships.

Breaking the Network Habit

The biggest challenge of moving from a network to an orbit mindset is letting go of the habit of focusing on quantity over quality. For much of my career, I equated value with the number of people I could connect with at any given moment. Orbits forced me to ask different questions:

Who truly inspires and energizes me?

Which relationships align with my current goals and values?

Where am I investing time and energy without mutual benefit?

Answering these questions didn’t diminish the importance of my network—it simply reframed it. I began to see my network as the foundation for potential connections, while my orbits represented the relationships that mattered most.

The transition from networks to orbits isn’t about discarding one for the other—it’s about recognizing the deeper purpose of relationships. Networks are valuable for expanding reach and accessing resources, but orbits are where life’s richest connections reside. By understanding and nurturing your orbits, you create a relational ecosystem that aligns with your goals and fulfills your need for meaningful, dynamic connections.

Power of Orbits

Orbits, unlike networks, are alive. They shift and change as our lives evolve. At their core, orbits are a way to understand relationships based on energy, influence, and alignment. Picture concentric circles around you, with the people closest to your life and goals in your Inner Orbit. These mentors, partners, and friends energize and support you daily. These people shape your decisions and provide consistent emotional or professional support. This included a trusted mentor who helped me redefine my purpose post-retirement and close friends who brought me energy and joy. Beyond them lies the Middle Orbit. Here lie collaborators and meaningful connections—those who challenge, inspire, and grow with you. This included former colleagues I now connect with on shared passions rather than career demands. Finally, in the Outer Orbit, there are acquaintances, distant relatives, or even inspiring figures you don’t interact with directly. These relationships might seem peripheral, but they provide opportunities for unexpected growth. For example, a LinkedIn connection moved from my Outer to Middle Orbit after we collaborated on a shared interest.

The beauty of this framework is its flexibility. Relationships in orbits aren’t fixed. They flow. Someone in your Outer Orbit—an acquaintance you barely know—might become a key collaborator, moving into your Middle Orbit through shared experiences. Likewise, a once-close friend might drift outward over time, reflecting natural changes in life priorities. This dynamic nature is what makes orbits so powerful. They don’t just map who you know; they map how relationships evolve and where to focus your energy.

Nurturing Your Orbits

Understanding the concept of orbits is just the beginning. The true value lies in how you nurture these relationships, adapting your approach to the unique dynamics of each orbit. Every connection, whether close or distant, requires care and intention to thrive. Here’s how I’ve learned to cultivate relationships within each orbit:

The Inner Orbit: Depth and Intimacy

The Inner Orbit is home to your closest relationships—the people who profoundly influence your life. These connections thrive on depth, trust, and shared experiences. Nurturing them requires being fully present and intentional.

I’ve found that simple, consistent attention is the foundation for these relationships. Regular check-ins create space for vulnerability and deeper understanding, whether through a heartfelt conversation or a shared activity. For instance, one of my closest friends in this orbit and I prioritize connecting every few weeks, not just to talk but to really listen. These interactions aren’t about quantity but about creating moments of genuine connection.

The Middle Orbit: Purposeful Engagement

The Middle Orbit contains people who inspire and challenge you but don’t require constant interaction. These connections are often centered around shared goals or projects, making purposeful engagement the key to keeping them alive and meaningful.

For me, nurturing relationships in this orbit is like celebrating successes and finding collaboration opportunities. I’ve learned that even small acts—sending a quick message of encouragement or recognizing someone’s achievements—can create lasting resonance. For example, a former colleague and I reconnected recently after congratulating them on a milestone. That one moment of recognition sparked a deeper conversation about a shared passion, reminding me of the value these connections bring.

The Outer Orbit: Light Touch, Big Impact

The Outer Orbit is where your acquaintances and distant connections reside. While these relationships seem peripheral, they often surprise you with unexpected opportunities or insights. Nurturing these connections requires a lighter, more occasional touch.

In this orbit, small gestures go a long way. Sending a message to check in, sharing an article you think they’d enjoy, or simply congratulating them on a new role can keep the lines of communication open. Recently, I reached out to someone I hadn’t spoken with in years after seeing an update on their career. That brief interaction didn’t just rekindle the connection—it revealed a potential opportunity to collaborate, reminding me that even light engagement can yield significant results.

Each orbit reflects a different connection layer, but they all share one common truth: relationships are most fulfilling when nurtured with intention. Whether through deep conversations, periodic collaboration, or occasional gestures, the effort you put into your orbits creates a ripple effect of energy and alignment throughout your life.

An Invitation to Redefine Connection

As I embraced orbits, I realized they weren’t a framework for understanding relationships. Instead, they were a way to build clarity with those I interacted with and, most importantly, to learn how to give and be purposeful. Orbits helped me find where my energy was being well spent and where it was draining. They reminded me that relationships aren’t static; they are dynamic and reflect where we are in life.

If you find yourself stuck in the network mindset, I invite you to try this approach. Map your orbits. Ask yourself where you’re gaining or losing energy. Be intentional about who you draw closer to and who you let drift outward. You might be surprised at the clarity and fulfillment this brings.

Relationships aren’t just about who you know but about how those connections align with your life, values, and future. So, I ask you: What does your orbit look like, and how will you redefine connection in your own life?

This shift was transformative for me. It allowed me to step off the interstate and truly explore the paths, people, and opportunities that bring fulfillment—not just activity. I hope you’ll find this perspective as valuable as I have.